‘Taliyah’ (not her real name) is a single adopter of dual heritage, in her early thirties, who adopted Black British twin boys (aged four) in early 2021:
‘I’d always considered that when I had a family it could be through adoption. I was fine with not seeing children through the baby stage and I knew there were plenty of children in care who needed adopters to give them a good home.
I saw a magazine advert about adopting and looked at some agencies but liked Faith in Families’ website. It just seemed less about the technical process and more about making a family.
I spoke to a Social Worker at the Agency’s office and began my adopter training in February 2020. It went really well. There were perhaps a few too many people in my group but it was explained that there’d been a lot of adopter applications recently, which was good.
I was approved at panel in August 2020. It was a ‘virtual’ panel, due to Covid-19, but it was fine. I’d been looking at children’s profiles online on Link Maker ahead of panel and I quickly received about 20 approaches from Social Workers looking for adopters, but among the first profiles I saw were the twin boys who would become my sons. They just reminded me of me when I was young, very active and creative; and I thought I would be a good fit as their Mum.
We did introductions in January (2021) and they came to live with me soon after. There were a few snags in the process which were down to the boys’ home local authority area, but Faith in Families were very supportive throughout.
In the almost six months since the boys came to live with me I’ve had a lot support from my own Mum. They’ve settled in really well. I’m currently on adoption leave and, in some ways, my stress levels are now lower than they were before the boys arrived.
I would say adopting as a single parent is do-able and very worthwhile but you have to be firm about your self-care; finding some time each day to do what you want to do and not filling it with household chores when the children are asleep or watching TV.